Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

I actually pay taxes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Is Gupta Nilayam season 1 of Raghul Vasudevan completed? Can he compile and send all Episodes at once as a long story?

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is a good investment portfolio for someone starting in their 20s? 90% VT and 10% BND for a Roth IRA then 100% TDF for a 401k?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

Why are Boomers so vehemently opposed to student loan forgiveness?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why do I randomly start sweating a lot in public (while waiting in line, in a new class, etc.) then start sweating more because I’m embarrassed that I’m sweating so much? Is this social anxiety?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is the STAR interview method?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Aged neurons don’t respond normally to stress: Study - Parkinson's News Today

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Scientists discover that dogs can alert humans to this quickly-spreading disease - Earth.com

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability